1.) Sporty Compact:
I am allergic to new compact cars. I dislike front wheel drive, I dislike sideways four pot motors, and I dislike that they are invariably styled to look like a tarted up cordless mouse.
One of these is an inexpensive, sculpted lump of plastics and electronics. The other is a computer mouse.
No number of overhead cams or turbos can cajole me into liking one. But, as I must choose, I choose you, Nissan-chu!
It's a Nissan Versa with a 5 speed stick and a lighted ash tray. It's about the cheapest thing you can buy new in America. I choose this because I don't really care for compact cars, and if I was going to have to have something I didn't want, I would get it at the cheapest price possible.
I would use the other roughly $8,000 to buy this:
http://oklahomacity.craigslist.org/cto/2890376828.html
Drive the Nissan to work with the other cubicle-dwellers, get decent mileage, then drive something I give one iota of one crap about on the weekends. Not a bad deal, really.
2.) Midsized Sedan:
There are only two options for me on this one - Hyundai Genesis or Charger R/T. I chose the burly American.
Dodge Charger R/T
Coming in at just under $30,000, a fella can get a 370 hp Dodge Charger R/T; it's got rear wheel drive, a big stonkin' V8, great styling and... Probably other things. I don't care a great deal about those things, to be perfectly honest. I mean, look at it; would you really rather have a sucked on throat lozenge lookin' Camry or this mean burly bugger? I'm takin' the charger, and spending the $5 I have left on a pack of cigs.
3.) Luxury Sedan or SUV:
This one is something of a bear. The Infiniti M56 opens up at 57k. No dice. CTS-V? Almost 60k. BWAH! Town car? Mrrrrrr, maybe if Ford had put the Coyote in it. DTS sedan? I guess if I'm being driven somewhere, fine...
What's that Eminem? What can I import from Detroit for under $50,000? A Shiny Red SRT-8 300C? The HECK you say! Really, a 6.4L Hemi? I'm all over this.
Chrysler 300 SRT 8
Thank you, Eminem. I am sorry I said bad things about Rap music, you were very helpful and courteous this time.
So, that's my picks. Nissan Generica (Versa) Dodge Charger R/T and a Chrysler 300.
Because GM and Ford don't make V-8 RWD cars anymore. Jerks.
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