Stories from the Trenches

In recent years, I've sort of developed a reputation as an automotive matchmaker among my friends; they come to me with a basic description of what they want and how big their budget is, and with Yente-like precision, I come up with what they're looking for.

Thus, when my good friend and co-worker called and told me his beater Corolla had pitched its timing belt and lunched the engine, I rubbed my hands with glee.

His criteria were that it ought to be a cool old car in daily driver condition capable of hauling his sizeable family for under $2500. It was a tall order, to be certain, but after looking at a series of 1970s wagons (long-roofs are cool) we eventually found a 1965 Ford Thunderbird that satisfied his tastes. The big 390 cubic inch FE motor ran well, the three speed auto shifted when it should, the paint and body were in reasonably good shape, and the price came right in at budget - $2500. After a test drive, he paid the nice couple selling it and had his first classic car.

He had his share of problems, as most virgin classic car owners will... For example the time his "car guru" father in law tried his hand at rebuilding the carburetor and got the front and rear fuel squirters in reversed, or the time he had to disassemble and refurbish the quirky mechanical breaker that makes the sequential tail lights blink.

In any case, I got a call several days ago and he was beside himself. One of the fuel lines had cracked and doused the exhaust manifolds with gasoline while he was driving; the resulting inferno was limited to the engine compartment, and in all reality was not that severe. The insurance company adjuster came and looked at it, declared it totaled and a tow truck came and hauled it off. His young daughters were understandably upset as well, having grown to associate "daddy's big car" with fun family weekend outings.

This was tempered, of course, by the insurance company's check which came several days later. They had valued the car at $5000. We're looking for a replacement now.

But, the trials and tribulations of my friend and his classic car, while interesting, are not the important part of the story. The important part of the story is that, being as he bought the car for $2500 and the insurance company paid him $5000, a longstanding feeling I've had since I started working on cars has been confirmed:

You can double the value of a Ford by setting it on fire.